Cake Sale Chaos

Crowds of people today converged on the same place at the same time. An angry mob formed, baying for blood. Shouts rang through the air. Innocent bystanders were swept up into the furore. There was very nearly a serious incident and the organisers only narrowly avoided calling the police.

Revolution? Uprising? Anarchy? No, dear readers, all of this was triggered by a secondary school charity cake sale.

Thanks to Jamie Oliver, cake in schools up and down the land is now a rarity. So, when it appears, it is greeted like celebrity crashing the disco.

The cake sale in question today was madness. I felt genuinely afraid for my life as I pushed my way through the masses. I actually heard someone chanting "CAKE, CAKE, CAKE!" and there were attempts to start a small riot on the edge of the queue.

The small year 7s running said cake sale looked rather overwhelmed as they watched large mobs of teenage girls form and demand their sweet treats. How were they to know the monster that would be unleashed at the mere mention of cake?

A bit later, perhaps the most hilarious announcement I have ever heard came over the tannoy: "Will girls please form an orderly queue at the cake sale." I love the thought of the teacher on duty realising, action movie style, 'This is getting nasty. To the tannoy!' and sprinting to the office.

Muffin madness, cookie craziness, truffle tension, flapjack fury, rocky road-rage, icing insanity, next time, BE PREPARED! You have been warned.